Pies and Videogames
by LeelaSmall
Summary: NEPTR is just a pie-throwing robot. A love-sick pie-throwing robot. Will he be able to confess his feelings to a certain videogame console? (BMO is a girl in this)


_"Hey BMO, we should hang out more! We're both robots!"_

_"No, NEPTR. I am not like you… not like you… not like you…"_

Those exact words echoed through NEPTR's memory as he recalled that day for the umpteenth time. Ever since BMO had told him that he had never felt the same. It had felt like a kick in the gut, if he had one, a kick he was never able to recover from.

Ever since he could recall he had felt smitten for the blue-green videogame console. He would observe BMO from a distance, basking in the wonder of his/her robotic abilities. He wasn't sure what BMO's gender was, since sometimes he/she acted like a male and others like a female, but seeing as she had a sleek modern design and a lovely not-too-high-pitch voice, NEPTR considered the videogame as being a female. NEPTR himself was never given a clue about what is own gender was, but he always considered himself a male robot.

The Never-Ending Pie-Throwing Robot sighed and allowed himself to tip over onto the surface of Finn's bed, wallowing in his own sadness as he remembered the moment he was rejected by the object of his affection once more. He wanted to give her something, a special gift he had made just for her, but he was turned down so quickly he didn't even get the chance to think twice about it. But then again, BMO was right. They weren't at all alike. She was a videogame console/portable electrical outlet/music player/camera/alarm clock/flashlight/strobe light/video editor/video player, and he was just a one-armed talking microwave on wheels whose sole purpose in life was to throw pies at people's faces, mostly Jake. BMO wasn't anything like him; she was a hundred times better. But if only he could somehow be like her…

He felt a spark inside him as a possibly brilliant idea occurred to him. Quickly lifting himself up he looked around the room for any materials he could use, when he spotted a large piece of cardboard and a black marker lying on a corner.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed as he dashed towards the objects. He had watched Finn and Jake enough times to know just what to do with them.

* * *

She sighed as she lied motionless on top of the living room coffee table, facing the ceiling as her thoughts wandered to all the events that had challenged her feelings lately. Being just a device, she never thought that anyone would ever care for her in a deep emotional level, but so far she had had her heart broken by a chicken, her soon-to-be-husband killed and turned into air, and a proposition to move in with a guy she had only talked to for ten minutes.

BMO had no idea why life was being so unfair to her. All she wanted was someone who she could be with, who would understand her and love her, but so far all her suitors hadn't worked out for her. Loraine was just a chicken; she didn't think she could even feel emotions. Wyatt was just a sad old man who for some reason had become fond of her, but he was Tree Trunks' ex-husband, it would be too weird. Plus she didn't like him like he liked her. And she had no idea WHY he had taken a shine to her.

The only one who had actually made her feel special was Bubble. Oh, how she missed Bubble… The time they had spent together was one of the best moments of her life, even with its ups and downs. But faith had other plans for him. Even though he had promised he would always be with her in the air, she hadn't heard or felt him for a while now. She had to face the facts: she was alone.

Sighing once again, she turned to her side with some difficulty, almost losing balance and falling off the edge of the table. She closed her eyes to try and forget all that was depressing her, feeling somewhat more relaxed, when she heard a strange noise. It sounded like a wind-up toy car making its way across the room, the sound of its wheels getting closer and closer until it abruptly stopped. For what she could make of it, the car must've been right in front of her, but she just ignored her and tried to think about something else.

"Hello, BMO." She heard a mechanical voice say. It sounded extremely close to her screen, and very familiar. Opening her eyes, her suspicions where confirmed.

"NEPTR?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. "What – "

She quickly silenced herself as she took a better look at the pie-throwing robot. For some reason he had a piece of cardboard in front of him on which he had cut a quadrangular hole for his face and drawn some buttons underneath it. In short, it seemed like he wanted to look like her.

"NEPTR…" she had no idea what to make of what she was looking at, or what to say about it.

"You were right." NEPTR declared with a smile. "You are not like me, and you never will be. So I figured, if you can't be like me, I could try and be like you."

BMO just kept staring at the robotic microwave in front of her. She remembered when she told him she wasn't like him, but she never thought he would take it that seriously. And the fact that he was compensating their differences by looking as much like her as possible… did that mean anything? Was he trying to tell her something?

Somehow that struck her as exceedingly humorous, and she started laughing at his actions. NEPTR's smile died as she continued to mock him with her laughter, and started thinking his effort had been a complete waste of time, until BMO leapt down from the coffee table and walked around him to hug his glass door, action which made him widen his eyes surprised.

"Thank you…" she whispered as she leant against him. "I really needed that…"

If NEPTR could blush, his face would've been beet-red, for he could not believe the object of his affections was holding him. Her touch felt so nice, even better than he had imagined. He gulped down his nerves as he remembered something he had been meaning to give BMO for a long time.

"B-BMO?" he stuttered, trying to recompose himself.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember when I offered you a pie the day you were trying to find Finn's sock?"

"Yes?" she leaned away from the glass door to hear him better.

"Stand back."

She took a few steps back and NEPTR opened up his door, making the videogame gasp with the sight of its contents: a heart-shaped pie with the words 'I LUV U' carved into the crust. BMO felt her screen heat up as she blushed intensely.

"Oh, NEPTR…"

"I have been meaning to give to give this for a long time." His tone, despite robotically monotonous, now seemed to transmit sadness. "I'm sorry I didn't give it to you sooner. I just…" he trailed off, selecting in next words carefully. "…I-I really… really like you, BMO."

BMO was overwhelmed, both by his present and his confession. She never would've guessed the pie-throwing robot felt that way about her. They rarely hung out, and the one time he actually asked her to spend time with him, she refused. And in a stupid way, too. She felt awful about the way she treated him, but knew exactly how to make it up to him.

She walked around him and positioned herself right in front of his face. She took a second to examine his manufactured facial features, which now transmitted curiosity; NEPTR was clearly wondering what the console's next move would be, but before he have could have another though BMO closed the space between the two by pushing her screen against his face, her virtual lips on his metal ones.

NEPTR was petrified; never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that she would do this. Of course he had wondered about what it would feel like kissing her, how the feeling of her lips pressed against his would be. And he had to admit… it felt amazing!

With his circuits on overdrive and feeling sparks flying around them both, the Never-Ending Pie-Throwing Robot put his claw-like arm on her back as best as he could, deepening the kiss. For those two robots, nothing else in Ooo mattered at that moment, just themselves.

"We're home!" Finn the Human declared to no one in particular as he walked through the door with is best friend and brother, Jake the Dog.

"Bro, wait up! Give me a hand with this!" Jake pleaded as he difficultly dragged a dead griffin in the house. "I still don't get why Hunter Princess had to give us this. It's awful!"

"Hey, I don't like it either, man." Finn said as he grabbed the creature's head. "But she wanted us to have this as a reward for saving her from those Man-Bear-Pigs. And I didn't want to upset her by refusing."

"Yah, I guess." Jake released the griffin, which on the wooden floor with a loud thump. He looked at it and scratched his head. "I don't know, should we cook it, put it in the freezer, or – HOLY MOISTURIZER!" he screamed, his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared into the next room.

Finn turned around, following his brother's gaze, and was surprised to see his favorite videogame console and the pie-throwing robot he had built kissing in the living room.

"Uh." Finn commented with a smile, placing his hands on his hips. "Now there's something you don't see every day."

"Aw, what?! Dude, are you kidding me?!" Jake yelled out, throwing his arms up. "That's your reaction?! Our robots are sucking face in the middle of our living room, and that's all you have to say?!"

"Yeah, man. You see, what happened with Flame Princess made me mature and have a better view about a lot of junk." The boy remarked, turning back to the magic dog. "If they want to be together like that, than who am I to stop them? Besides, NEPTR had talked to me about how much he likes BMO. And I'm cool with that."

"Whatever, man. I still think it's pretty messed up." Said Jake, making a disgusted face as he looked over at the two devices, still deeply focused in their make out session. He decided to just ignore it and grabbed the dead griffin, making his arms bigger to lift it off the floor. "I'm throwing this in the freezer. Then we'll figure out what the heck we're gonna do with it."

He walked into the kitchen with the dead animal in his magically-overgrown hands, Finn following close by. The golden-haired teenager stopped just before entering the other room, peering over at BMO and NEPTR as he held onto the doorframe. The two robots never even realized they had entered the tree house. Finn smiled to himself, feeling happy for both of them.

"Good for you, NEPTR." The boy whispered. "Good for you."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE (PLEASE READ)**

**This one-shot had been on my mind for THE LONGEST TIME, but had to be set it aside so I could work on something else. I'm glad I'm finally posting it.**

**So yeah, BMO and NEPTR. I think they're meant to be, don't you? And yeah, I consider BMO a girl. A bi girl, at best.**

**Like it? Review. And thanks for reading. ;)**

**And I'm sorry I haven't written anything at the end of my other stories, my life has been chaotic to say the least.**

***brofist***

**~LeelaSmall**


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